LADY; We did very well during courtship; it was as if we were siblings, we hardly went a day without each other, memories of all the good times together, flowers and random kisses kept coming back, text messages just won’t be enough, but since we got married, it has been three good years in hell, I wish I never choose him as my prison mate, I want to break free, I feel like I do away with this handcuff called ring
COUNSELOR; No please take it easy, we can sought this out if you will confide in me, now calm down and tell me what happened;
LADY; I really don’t know how to start; my husband has really changed, he comes home late, hardly taste my food, answering unnecessary calls, hardly joined me on bed, I’m just tired of this whole thing, just wish we never marry, was he pretending all this while to get me into his house?
COUNSELOR: No! He meant everything he said or did back then is just that you wouldn’t play your part very well. Marriage is the best and oldest institution ever, but to enjoy it we must play the oldest institution in the newest way; how do we do this?
Your marriage is the institution, your aim is to study and make it work.
To make it work, you have to follow the following rules.
- 1. HIS LOVE LANGUAGE; one of the rules that keeps your man close is speaking his primary love language, look deep and discover the things he loves most, those things that makes him feel loved, when you were courting, out of the five love languages, you know the one that spokes deeply to him that you loved, that was why he couldn’t wait, you know how you treated him, I was not there and you know it.
- 2. THE ‘LADY’ ON THAT FATEFUL DAY; this is the 21st century; I hope you know that, so if you must enjoy your marriage you must wake up and work hard, your husband left in the morning to work, all he sees in the office is a well dressed office secretary, attractive co-workers, he walked to a shopping mall on his way home to get some toiletries, he met a well perfumed sales lady and a gorgeous sales assistance, getting to his, all he meets is a one old stinging woman wrapped in a wrapper smelling smokes like a smoked fish sent from village, what did you think will happen? All your man wants; is that gorgeous lady he met on that fateful day, I know very well you want your husband to be well groomed as he was when you first met, you need to do the same thing for him, most lady thinks because they have gotten their man they are done, they can move around the house with anything they see, that will do you no good, matter fact, the best time you need to look good and even more attractive is when you are there in his house, be sure you provide him with everything that could ever keep him outside. Try to look good and be attractive, looking good for your husband doesn’t make you materialistic, even with the little you have, you can always look new to him every day, don’t sleep with a dirty hair net, you will only make him back you, be very net even before going to bed,
- 3. PROTECTION; You both are one because of this reason, the bible stated that a good woman build her home, learn to protect your husband, protect your home, leave your family and friends out of any misunderstanding between you and your husband, during conversation with friends, leave your husband out of the your discussion, if you should mention him, learn to speak good of him, your husband’s weaknesses or short comings are just within you alone, you sell him out to your friends the minute you strike out his short comings to them, don’t be surprised if they disrespect him.
- 4. KNOW WHEN TO TALK AND WHAT TO SAY; Admitted! There was a little or no misunderstanding, you were actually washing his cloth when you noticed a bill from a restaurant, a stain of lipsticks on his shirt, hmmmmmmmmm a condom in his pocket, already you are boiling, ready to explode, you feel you should set your eyes on him that very minute, as you are in the house waiting for him, he turned very late, the first word you could ever offer him is, where do you think you’re coming back from? So this is the time she release you, a married man, you are not ashamed of yourself, and lots more. My dear you will only send him away, from that moment onward you have reckoned the devil’s skills with opportunity, he will do worse and be more careful next time to avoid being caught, avoid correcting, ignoring or talking back at your man before the kids, you will only succeed in making him less important before them.
- 5. AVOID BEING A NAGGING WIFE; learn to always surprise your man, make his home fun to be, handle issues wisely, your husband is stressed up in the office, make him want to come back home, let him miss your absent and he won’t hesitate to call you only to say that he is missing you, if you are a nagging type, your husband will always pray for a long day in the office, have business meetings every now and then just to avoid you, will always take a deep breath at the door wondering if and when to open the door, will always tiptoe to avoid you, may hardly come home with friends and you know the harm all this can cause to your marriage.
- 6. HUMILITY ; Try and be the kind of woman your husband will always be proud of, honor and respect your husband even your husband’s people, people, not even your lawfully wedded husband will come around you if you are tactless, abusive, rude or thoughtless, if you want your husband to hold his head high whenever he is out with you, always pray for a shorter day at work so as to be with you, introduces you to his colleague in his new working place, or to have him at your beck and call, then kindness, integrity, honesty, thoughtfulness and compassion should be your watch word, love your husband, honor him, above all, put him above your friends and kids.
- 7. STRIVE HARDER TO BE SUPPORTIVE; every man needs a super-heroine to champion him, support him when he is faced with crisis, I know the saying that goes ‘woman are weaker vessels’ I’m not saying is not true, but you are going to let this saying ruins your home, don’t dump responsibilities on your husband, you know what I’m talking about, strive to assist, ask to know, listen to those challenges he is not telling you, then he will be proud of you.
- 8. QUALITY TIME (UNDIVIDED ATTENTION); men needs this as much as we ladies do, spent time with husband, share his dreams, tough experiences, stressful day in the office. Surprise him with a gift, dinner party together (memories as this, he won’t forget in a hurry), don’t let the kids takes your husband’s time, go extra miles to please him, that make you a slave in your home, let your husband’s happiness be your highest priority, never forget special days like birthdays, Christmas, valentines lots more, remember; you’d never forget this when you were courting, so why now? Spend time to make him feel ‘SPECIAL’ with these feelings you will a long lasting smile to linger long on their lips.
- 9. A SERVING SPIRIT; Most of the women don’t know how to serve their husbands, according to the scripture; the man is the head of the house, so as the head we need to serve him, serving the head doesn’t in any way make us the tail. First, discover his favorite meal, prepare it when necessary, try and be neat with your cooking, in a decent and honorable way, serve him, learn to be right next to (beside) him at the table and he will compliment you, above all, he will miss your presence when you are not around. Be the first to say ‘I’m sorry’. Don’t let a maid serve your husband. Heed to fault when detected.
10. MARRIAGE AND LOVE MAKING; Hey: don’t give me that look, you know what I’m about to say, sorry I’m going to be a bit horror, but trust me, it worth it, many married women lack so much in this field, and this alone is capable of ruining their marriages, in marriage you don’t have sex, you MAKE LOVE, of course, it is not only about having sex, but is holding hands, kissing, when last did you kissed your husband? Foreplay and every other act of intimacy with your partner matters a lot, remember; love making is an ACT not an ART. Make out time for romance, be romantic yourself, smell great, look neat, make your bed romantic, let me shock you! Men likes flowers, you can decorate your bed with flowers. Love making with someone you love is about expressing your love to your partner in the most intimate way. Your husband is entitle to your body, satisfy him in a pleasing way and he will fall back to you. AND IF YOU MUST DO ALL THIS AND SUCCEED IN YOUR HOME, YOU NEED GOD THE MORE, HE AND HE ALONE IS THE FOUNDER OF THIS OLDEST INSTITUTE (MARRIAGE). CALL UNTO HIM DILIGENTLY AND HE WILL ANSWER YOU AND SAFE YOUR HOME.
LADY; Thank you very much; do you know it’s been my fault all this while? Thanks for serving my marriage’ I will bring you the good news.
COUNSELOR: And I will be very happy to receive it. God bless you! SHALOM!